Is this the end?

I'm afraid to sign off on this blog in case I feel a need to return to it at a later point, but at the same time, looking at it, I feel like it has come to an end. It's been an interesting journey. It's time to do something new, to reassess, redefine, remake and realign.

Thank you, Workspace.

Haiku

everybody is
entitled to their beliefs
but they're not all right

Two letters

The sign on a till at Coles the other day read:
"
Out of Order

We apologies for any inconvenience.

Thank you for shopping at Coles
"

It's amazing that having two letters in the wrong order can make a message seme so unprofessional.

I got something

I never really grasped the Nelson Mandela concept of being more afraid of our light than our darkness until recently. But the more I wander through this world, the more I realise the truth of that entire spiel.

We don't just communicate with the people we intend to communicate with. Just by the act of being in a place, you are giving something to that place. Depending on how open you are inside, depending on how much light you feel comfortable to shine, you will have a positive, neutral or negative effect on that place.

I can feel my energy passing to other people all the time. Especailly strangers in the city. Most people ignore each other, but everyone is affecting everyone else's space in some way.

Maybe this is an INFP thing - we see people from such a close angle - we want to be in everyone's head, we want to analyse our environment and feel something towards it.

I want to feel like I am having a powerful positive impact on my environment. The thing that I'm coming to realise is that I can. I have the light inside me to have that sort of impact - but I'm afraid of it. I'm unsure of it, I'm wary of it.

I know I've got something. Every day I'm reminded that I am different and set apart. This opens my heart and makes a little more light shine out.

I feel like I couldn't have had the sort of relationships I've had in my life so far without understanding my own light and realising that I've got something to give.

I have a feeling that this concept which Nelson Mandela so eloquently put into words will continue to penetrate my world for a very long time to come. I don't want to ever believe that I'm perfect, or that I can do everything in my own strength. All I want to do is continue to choose to impact my environment with my unique light.

You wanna piece of me

I don't know if Britney Spears herself came up with the idea for her song, Piece of Me, or if it was her marketers or something, but whoever it was, I take my hat off to them.

Bands have done it before in more subtle ways - whinging about the media in their songs (Good Charlotte, for one) - but this song is a blatant counter-attack. This truly proves that the best way to fight back at a society-gone-wrong is through art. Talk shows can twist your words and censor you, writers can misquote you to their own ends - so trying to get your point across through the press is stabbing yourself with your opponent's sword. Using a song, Britney has said exactly what she wants to say to and about the media. This is good for two reasons. 1. People will hear it for what it is and form their opinions based on Britney's own words. 2. It will make her even more rich and famous, which is in itself a stab at her adversaries. It may not be as radical as great political and social songs of the past, but it is comparable because, although it's on a personal level, it's a song with a purpose other than just to entertain. And that's more than one can say for most popular music these days.

So the point I am making is, if you have something to say, say it with art. (Unless of course your art involves naked thirteen-year-olds.)

The rotten apple and the new seed

Say you have a rotten apple. Completely gross, mouldy and inedible Its seeds have fallen out. Its final end will definitely be in the bin.

But you don't realise that it's mouldy. It is - it's awful, but it's the only apple you've got, so you think it'll do.

Someone has their hand out, offering you a seed to plant a new apple tree. The apple tree will bear good fruit forever.

If you want to, you can throw away your mouldy old apple and take the seed and plant it. It's your choice.

If you don't plant the seed, all you'll have is a rotten apple that will end up in the bin.
If you do plant it, you will have a beautiful, everlasting apple tree that you can tend to and nourish and enjoy forever.

To make this choice, you have to acknowledge that the apple you have is really rather yucky, and then you will want to throw it away and plant a your tree.

But unless you acknowledge the rottenness of your apple and take the seed, you'll be stuck with that rotten apple until it goes in the bin, and you'll never have a new tree.

My head is the inside of a capsicum.

Oh, woe is me!

I haven't written here at all this year. A very bad sign. There's been something missing from my life lately and I think this is what it is. I've been writing in my journal every day, but because it's personal, I'm pretty lazy with it. I need an outlet for *actual* writing. And I need to get some of the crazy little ideas in my head OUT! Out out out. Because if they're stuck in my head with no validation or records they'll simply pass away and never be seen again. And that would be sad for those poor ideas that never asked for anything, but only wished to be written down. Don't worry, little guys! Blog to the rescue! I will stand up for your right to a voice. I will express you until my fingers are sore. You will never go hungry again. Lalala.

I've been trying to use facebook groups to record all the things I'm becoming interested in. It sounds dumb, but I've become addicted to joining facebook groups. Everything from 'Women's Forum Australia' to 'Bubbles Make Me Happy'... I seem to join two or three groups each time I go online!

There are some things, however, that you just can't say with a facebook group!

I'm actually here avoiding work I should be doing. Nothing unusual for me. I think I should call the computer my Procrastination Station, because that seems to be its calling. Or maybe the computer is the terminal and the actual stations are youtube, facebook and google.

Hmmmm. I'd better get back to work, but I'll be back to share some of those fantastic ideas that probably won't seem so fantastic when I try to write them but oh well, what can you do?

Ahhh, how I have missed you, blog of mine!

Island Dreaming

On the weekend I went to Molloy Island (near Augusta) with 8 friends.

It was like the leavers I never had! It was the best holiday I've ever had. It was the first time I've ever been on holiday without my parents I think (if you don't count staying at El's for R&J). My friend Lauren has family friends who have the cutest little cottage thingy that they let us live in on Friday and Saturday. Cars have to get to the island by barge so it's all very exclusive! We just hung out and talked and ate and read books and magazines and played games and stayed up late... I felt so relaxed and comfortable to be myself. I still feel relaxed.

Today I caught up with two friends from school!

I bought a game today that Rosie had on the island called Bananagrams. It ROCKS!!!!!!!! Yayayayayayaya. It's like scrabble but with less rules. WORDS WORDS WORDS!!!!!!!!

Why can't life always be like holidays?!

Staying up too late, thinking too much and not getting anything done

I am the queen of the title of this post. Being 'on holidays' from work changes me.

When I'm not working I won't go to bed before 12:30.
When I'm not working petty things take over my brain during the day. Deep things at night.
When I'm not working the only things I seem to do are socialise, sit at my computer, and think about all the other stuff I should be doing.

I just wish that for once in my life I could be organised.
I just wish that sometimes I could feel like I have exactly what I want. I'm never empty, but I'm also never quite filled. There are empty places in my mind. And I only notice them when I'm not working.

I keep thinking, thinking everything until I can't think anything. I won't sleep. I will only think myself into loneliness. I will only think myself into confusion. I can't get any answers. I can't get any clarity. I'm just thinking in circles that I can't break into spirals.

Sleep is the cure - I wake up thinking the thoughts of the ignorant. I wake up with hope for the rest of the day. But I don't want it. Awakeness is an addiction. Sleep is coming down.

The day goes by at its own pace, but I have control over the night.

Time is mine until I sleep.

CR8IVE

I decorated this with a fabric marker. It's got as many creative activities as I could think of. Stick figures are about the extent of my drawing skills, so it's very... liney.

Desirable Characteristics

If I were to take on traits of some of the characters I’ve played for real, which bits of them would I like to adopt?

The Wild One – I’d like her outward energy, her strong sense of her own physical presence and her fearless way of approaching people. And her passion and eloquence. Her steadfastness of opinion in the face of apathy.

Emma – Her depth of concern for others and the purity of that concern – the fact that she doesn’t let outside influences touch her inner values. She has a real ‘giving’ energy.

Benvolio – His sincerity. The fact that you can just look at Benvolio and know he’s telling the truth exactly as he knows it without filtering it through his own judgements.

Lucy – What I like about Lucy is her consistency. Despite her cartoon appearance, Lucy is an emotional being with a real and consistent way of expressing herself. For one, she says what she means. Lucy hides nothing from no one. She’s an open book. What you see is what you get. I’d like to be like that, in that it would be great to be able to tell people what I really think as a matter of course. That way everyone would know where I stood. My inner emotional state would not pass by unexpressed, and therefore it would not become suppressed. When Lucy has a feeling, she expresses it – lets it out, lets it go, and if it rattles someone (or everyone) then so be it. She’s just being honest, consistently honest, about her emotions.

Kate Hardcastle – She’s tricksy! I’d love her quick wit! She’s a frivolous blonde, a kind hearted gentlewoman and a cunning heroine all rolled into one. Who wouldn’t want to be that versatile? She’s the Restoration Charlie’s Angel!

Portia – Well, what can I say? I love everything about Portia. If I could be any one of these characters, I would choose to be Portia. Like Miss Hardcastle, she’s got it all. She is sassy, sexy, strong, smart and sweet. What I really love about her is her sheer energy and her willingness to get her hands dirty.

Audrey – (just realised I forgot her) He he he. Sometimes I’d love to be so completely ignorant that I could walk around in a cloud of oblivion, not knowing (or even suspecting) what tricks I was falling for, just enjoying the ride with whoever would take me along. And then of course there’s the luxury of being able to squeal like an aardvark whenever I’m in a good mood without feeling self conscious.

Agatha Silverthorne – Baba Yaga-esqe cannibal woman of the suburbs. She’s very organised. The word meticulous comes to mind. I wouldn’t like to be THAT organised, but sometimes I’d like that level of attention to detail. I mean, this woman thought of EVERYTHING. She was pretty cool, really. I mean apart from being a desperate, human-consuming witch.

Sally Sunshine – Stereotypical Sally, created for the purpose of propaganda, although truly sickly in terms of bubbliness, believes she can solve any problem she comes into contact with. And not only does she believe she can solve it, she wants to with all her sweet little heart. When faced with a negative, Sally doesn’t even acknowledge it as a negative. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be like that? I’d love to put her in a room with Daria and see what happened. He he he.

Jacquie – If I’d had the sort of life Jacquie had, I wouldn’t be standing. She suffered physical abuse from her father figures for many years and was moved all over Australia with a nasty alcoholic stepmother. But her sense of escape brought her through it. She held onto what was pure about her childhood – her memories of Disney and little songs she knew – and she came out at the other end of it with self awareness and desire for good relationships. So I’d have to say I’d like to have her resilience in the face of those sort of disabling events, and the ability to dream no matter what the circumstances.

The White Witch of Narnia – Now here’s a woman with many qualities. I think the thing I like most about her is her stick-to-it-ive-ness (or however you spell that). Once she gets annoyed about something, she gets onto fixing it. She also likes to turn people into stone if they get on the wrong side of her. That could be fun.

That covers most of my memorable roles over the years. It was fun. Y’all should try it.

Import

Here's what I wrote in Word on my new computer...

Brand new computer with brand new nice version of Word.

Times New Roman isn’t the standard font.

Or New Roman Times as Clara calls it.

Why am I on double spacing? Can I switch that off? Should I switch that off?

It’s in size 11. Not 10. I wonder why. I love typing on this keyboard!
Ah that’s better I fixed the spacing. I wonder if that makes it default.
Maybe I’m going to be a writer again. I like this font.
I’m trying to think positive thoughts. David said that self doubt doesn’t become me.
I wish I were as eloquent as David.
Eloquence provides a key to - and an outlet for - understanding.
I’d like to be neater. I’d like to spend my time wisely. I’d like to know how to.
Lots to do tomorrow. Must stop listening to the sound of these wonderful keys...hey that rhymed.
It’s all been done but that’s just an illusion. Creativity is not an illusion. The greatest tragedy is the death of an illusion.
The death of an illusion.
The death of my illusion.
The funeral of my illusion.
Now I’m getting poetic. Problem is I’ve got nowhere to use the line and I can’t just write a poem around it without a purpose. But maybe if I keep writing like this the poetry will come. Maybe. There’s hope in maybe.

Catch you again soon.

The meter of life is a powerful beat (anapæstic tetrameter with initial iambic substitution and docked weak ending)

I've been reading a book on prosody (study of poetic meter) by Stephen Fry (yes, the actor) called "The Ode Less Travelled". It's brilliant! I'm building on what I already know and filling in all the gaps of terminology and learning little tricks. It quotes the masters and you get to do exercises. It has the detail of a good textbook, but unlike many textbooks it is very conversational, readable and enjoyable. As you can see from the limerick in my previous post I'm progressing rapidly! (That was a joke. I think.)

I've decided to base my Cagebirds character on a cassowary. Flightlessness was an issue that almost dissuaded me, but I don't think it matters. It's still a wild (and powerful) bird that wants freedom from the cage. It's really intense and fun developing it. Hard work, but solid work.

I'm getting excited about my 21st! It's nice that it's one you celebrate big because it takes a bit of the sting out of getting older.

Or younger, depending on which part of me you're looking at. I'm turning 9 as well.

My child within is getting younger with age.

K80!

There was a young woman called Katie
Of posts on her blog there were eighty.
When asked why so many
She said, "That's hardly any!
It won't be long til there are a hundred and twenty-five!"

I had some negative thoughts germinating in my mind today so I went shopping and bought a new dress and some jeans and T-shirts. Is that bad?

A letter to the BMCG about the SWYAP

Hi Karen

Sorry it's taken me so long to get in touch to tell you about the Young Achievers Program and to thank you and the theatre so much for your sponsorship!

I learnt lots of interesting things and enjoyed the atmosphere of the program. We did juggling, yoga, board-breaking (martial arts), logic and teamwork exercises, and even a bit of an acting class in the public speaking session! The public speaking stuff was definitely my favourite. It was run by the Bunbury Toastmasters public speaking group, and I was so impressed with them that I've joined! It's a good opportunity to improve my skills by getting the chance to practice lots in a supportive environment.

We also studied negotiation and networking skills, general communication for business and personal, time management (yay!), the importance of exercise and some financial investment stuff that went straight over my head!

The people who taught us were really awesome. David was our main 'leader' who went everywhere with us and he was a top bloke. Then there was this really funny Irish guy who used to work in Intelligence and knew all about us before he met us which was really creepy! Remind me to show you a thing he wrote about me - I actually thought he might have talked to you to find things out about me! Nathan Gardniner was a past participant of the program so he ran around with the video camera and organised bits and pieces. He was glad to see me there because he reckons it's been a while since they've had anyone on the program representing arts and culture. I guess that was the only downside really - that I didn't have much in common with the other young people because none of them were artists as such so they weren't really quirky or offbeat which is what I'm used to!

Overall it was a very unique and engaging experience. I've learnt practical skills and information that I'll use forever, and although I didn't make any lifelong friends among the other young people, I met some inspiring mentors from the community who will be good contacts, and I've joined Toastmasters, which can only be a good thing! So thank you again. It was an extremely worthwhile three days of my life.

Kate

Off to see the wizard

I'm going on SWYAP tomorrow! So excited (and a little nervous)! See ya soon!

Who, me?

Big news everybody!

1. I got my hair cut (see picture). I had to because it was so badly damaged. I hated it at first (see picture), but it's growing on me. Ha ha, very funny Kate.

2. I got my exam result yesterday for 7th grade AMEB Speech and Performance Theory! It's been almost a two month wait. It was the most stressful exam I've ever done because I hate restoration drama and I spent ages fretting over it. I felt the exam went well, so I guessed I would probably pass it, but not with any 'flying colours' as they say. I ended up getting the best mark I've ever got for an exam! Karen rang me and said "You'll need to be sitting down for this!"

Ninety-six percent. My face was like the first picture (see above)! I can still hardly believe it. I got 24/25 for essays where I just made up stuff about plays I hadn't even read! (I probably shouldn't be telling you that!) And I got full marks for my phonetics. I knew the first two questions were good, but I thought the other ones were very average. I must've had a nice marker.

3. Tomorrow I'll be seeing my 5th play in 8 days! Not bad eh? Oliver! (one of my best friends played Bill Sykes and was brilliant), Educating Rita (on tour at BREC, very enjoyable), The Return (which I saw tonight and was fabulous, kudos to Sharon and the cast - and the set, which I reckon deserves it's own applause!) and tomorrow I'm seeing Dimboola! Saw Darren Hanlon and Sarah Blasko last night too. Awesome stuff. Darren's stuff is so nice and catchy and Sarah is so fascinating to watch perform.

4. Ohhh I can't believe I've left this til number 4! I've been accepted into the South West Young Achievers' Program, which is a three day live-in program with heaps of motivations and skill enhancing seminars for jestsetting young enterprisers such as myself... or at least maybe I will be after the program. I went to the meet and greet sesh last night which was pretty cool. Apparently it's been quite a life changing experience for some people. It's on Thursday Friday Saturday next week, finishing in a big dinner that we can invite people to. I invited my parents. I couldn't think of anyone else who would want to pay $55 to go to a young achievers' dinner. So if you want me on those days, I won't be available (except on my mobile at night, probably.) I'll tell you all about it when I get home.

Right now I'm feeling very reflective. I'm going to write.

The Chaser's War on Dead Celebrities

I can't believe there's been such a media frenzy over the Chaser's 'Eulogy Song' which aired on ABC last night! You'd have thought people would've got used to the Chaser 'pushing the boundaries' by now. I think they'll be happy about all the hype, because it means they've still got the shock factor. I understand why people are offended, but they need to realise that it's comedy. It's there to make us laugh at ourselves. Some of the dead people they mocked would've even been laughing if they'd heard it.

However, I think one part of the song was a bit of a cop-out. It would seem that nothing is sacred to the Chaser, except Belinda Emmett. Most of the time they don't know where to draw the line, or they step over the line on purpose, to the point of getting arrested for their art, but last night they drew the line at Belinda Emmett!

Anyway, it's so true, what they're saying. The media loves to slam celebrities when there's a scandal, but then they die and suddenly it goes from slander to salute.

I take my hat off to the Chaser team for being able to offend hundreds of people with a three minute song!

Watch the Eulogy Song here. Big language warning.

Facebook

I can't believe this but I joined Facebook. It's highly addictive.

A barrel of laughs

The play was fantastic! All the kids performed well. The sound guy did an awesome job. I reckon we were the best thing at the festival (and it was a very good festival).

Today's the day!

Hello blogreading blogreader/s!

Today is the day! My Dardanup kids are performing Snow White and the Seven Piece Band at the Bull and Barrel Festival - 11am and 3pm! I'm off to the festival in about 15 minutes. Thought I'd say hi, since it's been a while.

School holidays have been awesome. There's something very comforting when you're a teacher and/or student about the security of these frequent two week breaks. In 'real life' it doesn't work that way. Working within school terms is a safe way to live. Not very artistic and edgy at all!

Although, I have been doing one job these holidays - this play! I never realised how long can be the process of tracking down sets, props and costumes. It's all come together so well. The community helped out a lot - Jill (festival organiser) got us a barrel and some locals made us a door to separate the rooms. Kristy at Alias made us 8 sparkly vests for the band!

I have a talented cast! Kids really shine when you give them an opportunity like this. Pip's come up with some great ideas for his Narrator character, Chad turns on the charm when he comes in as the hero at the end, Jessamy holds her character beautifully, Cavan is funny as, Tayla just rocks right down to her villainous socks, Mhairi is the ultimate angsty drummer, and the rest of the band are just fab! One of the coolest things that happened at the rehearsal happened when Chad 'cut' the barrel. I wanted it to be some sort of electric knife that made a "whizz" noise when he cut it, but all I could find was a pizza cutter. When Chad used the pizza cutter, Aaron made a "whizz" noise which sounded even more electric than a real appliance! So I asked Aaron to keep doing it and it's just perfect.

Better get down there! This little director is going to sit back and watch her play from the audience!

Homoeopathy

I'm doing much better today.

It's been a week of itching and tiredness, but today my rash hasn't flared up. Hopefully the homoeopathy has started to knock it off. So many people go 'huh?' when I say I'm using homoeopathic medicine! It's weird that people don't know about it because I've grown up with it. I guess the majority of society is into conventional medicine. If you've never been to a homoeopath, I encourage you to have a consultation at least once in your lifetime, just for the experience! It's awesome, they ask you all sorts of questions about your personality, how you think and react. It's really quite novel. And as an added bonus, you usually get to go home with a cute little bottle of tiny white pills to put under your tongue that are quite likely to heal your suffering. It's also cheap. True homoeopaths don't charge much at all. And it's all very informal. They usually write everything down on paper, rather than tapping away at a keyboard.

So I had a few days off work (well, I still had to do one of my jobs, but that turned out OK).

I thought of this sentence when I was watching TV:

"Surely a thousand words is worth a picture," I said as I handed my short story to the illustrator.

Thought it'd be a good way to start a story, maybe. Speaking of short stories, I've been reading Morris Glietzman's Give Peas A Chance, which is full of cute little short stories. The second story made me cry, and it was only about ten pages long!

I've also finished reading Jane Austen's novel, Northanger Abbey, and Oscar Wilde's play, Lady Windermere's Fan.

I'm studying the Romantic poets at the moment. Wordsworth, Coleridge, Keats, Shelley, Byron, etc. Some gorgeous stuff. I particularly like Shelley and Byron's writing styles. Coleridge is so long winded and Keats is so verbose and Wordsworth gets boring. Keep an eye on my diploma blog for more insights into my studies.

I'm seeing my gorgeous Clara tomorrow! YAY!!!!!

Overshare?

Weird day today. (Monday, which is yesterday now, but what's an hour or so?)

I don't know if this is the sort of thing you should tell the world because it's kinda icky... but I can't help it. I'm just too open.

This morning I got this awful rash all over the backs of my legs. I had a shower and it calmed down, so I went to my Snow White rehearsal (which was great!).

While I was teaching my brother phonetics in the evening, my top lip swelled up enormously and my whole face started to get puffy. The weird rash on my legs came back, but now it was all over my body. It was really itchy.

Unsure of what caused it, mum and I went down to emergency to see a doctor. They triaged me pretty quickly this time because they were concerned that my throat could swell up. It didn't. Dr Eaton (a fellow thespian as it turns out, and a merry old soul) explained that it's probably viral, but could be an allergy. They gave me a Telfast (and tried to give me Quarterzone but mum wasn't keen so I didn't take it) and sent me home with a script for more Quarterzone (which is a last resort - messes with your immune system, no thanks). So yeah, I'm covered in hives and I have enormous lips! The itching has subsided, but they said it could take weeks for the hives to go away. I'm just hoping my face goes back to normal very soon because man, I look hideous!

So everybody give me sympathy!

70

*- 70th post! -*

"I don't want to see you / cry like I always used to see..."

Saw celladore at the Prince on Thursday. Yay!

My Dardy kids just won Best Production in the SW 1 Act Play Fest. The other two youth plays were from the Rep club and they got awards too. Hopefully next year I can be in a play again instead of just being a teacher. Not that there's anything wrong with being a teacher, I just want to act!

I've been using little army men for staging and planning classes. I was so excited when I first got them. Mum came in and asked me what I was doing and I said, "I'm counting my men...wait, that didn't sound right!"

"How many've you got?" said she.

"Eighty-three!"

Their guns made them too bulky, so I cut them off, much to the dismay of my class of mostly boys who made scenes with them at BRECCY on Wednesday. I'd like to paint them, but I don't have time. I've been so flat out this week and it's not about to stop!

Mum went through all our photos last week and sorted them into albums and stuff. Every time I sat down with her to look at them I couldn't stop gushing about how cute I was as a kid! I was sooo cute. Awww!!! If I get a chance to scan some I'll show you what I mean!

*Yawn* It's been a looooong week. *Yawn*

Tonight I wrote a poem

Pedantry

sometimes your pedantry is beautiful
but sometimes it just bothers me
that you know so much more french than me
that your vocabulary is better than a dictionary
then you look at me with those eyes that know things i will never know
and you see me in your picture and it gives me aspirations
but i'll never match your knowledge and i'll never be a scholar
and every new thing you discover will only serve to tease me further
and every hundred dollar word you throw away
i will pick up in my unlearned lips and scream to give it meaning
sometimes your pedantry is beautiful
but sometimes it's just demeaning.

Writing puts the 'art' in my heart

"I wanna see the whole world, and I wanna write down everything."
- Harriet The Spy, 1996

When I first watched Harriet as an 11 or 12 year old, I was inspired. I wanted to write. Since the first time I wrote a poem when I was 6, I've known that writing would always be something I could own, and something that would own me. Over the past almost 15 years I have grown up through my notebooks, journals, capture books and keepers.

I love words with a passion I can not escape. No matter where I have tried to turn in times of *blehh*, the only place I've found the slightest bit of solace (besides in my fellow humans) has been in pencil and paper. When I am without words, I am forlorn. I am not a brilliant wordsmith. I am not a grand writer by any means. I am a slave, rather than a master, to the art of written expression.

I was going through some old emails, and found some lines from Roger McGough that I thought I might share with my blogreader/s. Here is an extract from the email (a fair while ago):

**

I've been writing again. I bought a huge book of Roger McGough's poetry and I've been inspired. I solely thank McGough for breaking my 18 month period of writer's block. His work is conversational and insightful in a way that, instead of intimidating me, draws me into my inner writer. How are these for some awesome lines:

"Valerie fondles lovers
like a mousetrap fondles mice"

and

"...we made love songs with our bodies
I became the words
and she put me to music"

and

"you will put on a dress of guilt
and shoes with broken high ideals..."

One of his poems is about how the sun likes horses because it makes hay, but doesn't like cats because it makes hot tin roofs. I like that sort of thinking. Another one is called "What you are" and every stanza begins with "you are the...". A couple are:

"you are the moment
before the blindman puts on his dark glasses"

and

"you are the distance
between the accident and the telephone box
measured in heartbeats"

**

On Friday, I bought the complete verse and other nonsense of Edward Lear. It's incredibly clever. I also bought seven other second hand books. 8 books for $50, not bad at all. But I'll have to stop because that's my second $50 book buying spree in two weeks!

In other news, Leigh played at the Prince tonight as Louis and the Honky Tonk. He was stupendous! I didn't wear a pointy hat.

We are...

Helena

Don't you hate it when you're interrupted mid-dream by a phone call?

I guess it serves me right for keeping my phone right next to my bed, and for sleeping in until the *unmentionable* hour of *gasp* 8:30, when Wooldridges opens and decides to call me about doing my timesheet!

I was in the middle of a dream where I was right inside the story of A Midsummer Night's Dream (a modern adaptation I suppose, since my unconscious mind sadly didn't click into iambic pentameter) and I was Helena, but I was in love with (Ly)Sander, who was in love with - get this - Penny! For some reason in my dream adaptation the writers had decided to call Hermia 'Penny', while keeping the other names the same or similar to the original.

Anyway, I was at the beach near a field of daisies and a washed up shipwreck. I was talking to someone else, probably Demetrius (although his name wasn't mentioned) but instead of loving Penny as well, he loved me, but of course I loved Sander! Nothing else really happened because my phone rang, but it was interesting all the same.

A dream about the Dream.

Ja'mie

I know, I know, you'll probably say I have no taste, but I think Chris Lilley's Ja'mie is a masterpiece. I'm glad someone had a go at satirising the private school princess stereotype because it had to be done, and if you ask me, Lilley's pulled it off very professionally.

Don't get me wrong, I find Lilley utterly annoying as a comedian. He's way over-the-top and seems to have an excessive ego, but these are the very attributes that work for Ja'mie. She is the only Chris Lilley character who I actually think is funny. I don't even mind sitting through the others just to watch her. She's classic.

I love it when she says, "no offence". It reminds me of the rudeness of some teenage girls and how much I wanted to hit people at school who said "no offence" so flippantly when they said something that was really offensive. Ughh!

Ja'mie is the epitome of 'shallow hot rich girl'-ness, and despite myself, I secretly want to be her for a day, just to know what it's like to be completely ignorant and have infinite self confidence.

But it's like, so not going to happen, no offence.

Spring cleaning

Spring is cool.

It's been alternating day to day between sunny and rainy. Not so good for the washing, or kids athletics carnivals, but lovely for me!

I have spent the last two days spring cleaning! I've rearranged my bedroom so my bed is by the window instead of jutting out into middle of the room. My computer has moved over a bit for maximum wireless network speed (yay), my mirror's by the door and my bookcase needs to be emptied before I can move it anywhere because it's too heavy at the moment! All this movement was only made possible by the sorting out of my overflowing craft box, which has now spread to many organised bags and boxes under a desk in my studio. The study desk in my studio has moved to the window for light purposes and the bookcases have moved next to it for convenience.

I'll be working hard tomorrow on two BUZ shows in quick succession at Eaton Primary. I really should be sleeping. Good night!

Diploma time

Hello my faithful blogreader/s.

My theory exam was a lot better than I expected. Just when I thought my workload was over, we sunk our teeth into my next 'unit' or the equivalent and I already have heaps of homework! Also, I'm going to be paid to do a play down in Dardanup - workshop, write, direct (and possibly even star in). On top of that there's still BRECCY and BUZ... and a social life again finally (I missed my friends!)... Yawn! And I have conjunctivitis :( so I'm doing the glasses thing for a while (which can get annying with head mics!)

Anyway, nighnighs time. Plenty to do tomorrow. Farewell!

...the sixth sitting sheet slitter's sick!

Once upon a time children's television was intelligent. This show was a masterpiece. What show, you ask?

PINKY AND THE BRAIN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIu4fP4fOHE

Watch this and you will see what I mean. And if you like tongue twisters at all then this will be right up your alley. I won't give anything else away. Just watch it!

Stood up

Oooh, burnt!!! This is the definitive "I just got stood-up" poem!

A Broken Appointment

You did not come,
And marching Time drew on, and wore me numb.
Yet less for loss of your dear presence there
Than that I thus found lacking in your make
That high compassion which can overbear
Reluctance for pure lovingkindness' sake
Grieved I, when, as the hope-hour stroked its sum,
You did not come.

You love not me,
And love alone can lend you loyalty;
-I know and knew it. But, unto the store
Of human deeds divine in all but name,
Was it not worth a little hour or more
To add yet this: Once you, a woman, came
To soothe a time-torn man; even though it be
You love not me.

- Thomas Hardy

Absolutely classic.

Drama!

I dug up my last notebook from the archives today to find some study notes, and I discovered that there's actually some good writing in there that I should probably type up. Which makes me wonder if there are things from all my other previous notebooks that I should type up too...

I jotted a couple of things down yesterday that I discovered as I was reading. (Yes, reading!) The first one's a quote from a textbook on early English Drama by one of the playwrights I'm studying, Sir George Etherege:

"My heart was never touched for any for whom there remains not still some impression of kindness."

The second was something I stumbled across in Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares (I think it was quoting Coquelin):

"Art is in itself a creator, it creates its own life, beautiful in its abstraction, beyond the limits of time, and space."

I came up with a few lines yesterday. I think I'll publish them in my Google Docs sometime.

Ooh, speaking of Stan the man, Sharon Kennedy (a local actor and director whom I revere) ran a free acting workshop on Wednesday night as a way of beginning her rehearsals for The Return (Stark Raven Theatre, October 19th, 20th, 25th & 26th @ the Lighthouse Beach Resort). We went over objective, motivation and action with some text from Australian plays. We didn't have time to go too in-depth, but it was really helpful to revisit it. It's given me some fresh inspiration for interpreting some of the scenes I've been thinking about. Also, I made some new friends! (/contacts, hehe.)

I MC'd the local heat of Storm The Stage last weekend. Therese (my lovely friend from Margs) got through to the next round. The judges came into the wings afterwards and had a good chat to the four contestants and gave them lots of advice which I *happened* to overhear from my conveniently chosen hiding place backstage. Steve Lawson is someone I'd like to work with! I hope the opportunity arises. If not, I'll seek it when I have time.

When I have time seems to be one of those things at the moment. I'd better get back to work. Exam on Thursday. I'll keep you posted.

"The cardinal vowel diagram is a graphic representation of the 8 standard positions of the cardinal vowels..."

Google Docs (does it get any better?!)

Google is like, one of my best friends!

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dgndw3s3_2cgjns7
My Google Docs Page :)

Snap. The dictionary closes.

For someone who loves literature, I really haven't read that much of it.

I hate that about myself. The fact is that I'm a slow reader and in the past year or two I've probably only read half a dozen books. It's disgusting. It needs to change. I'm embarrassed to even admit it.

Those of you who know me well will know that the main book I care about reading is the Bible. All other books pale into utter insignificance next to God's Word! So that's always right up the top of the reading list, the top of the study list.

As far as other books go, my first (rather drastic) idea for reading more is to take on less work next year and spend the whole of 2008 on a strict reading plan. It seems like a diet. I feel like I should get a consultation from a personal trainer or something. I think taking that year to read everything will benefit me endlessly in the long run. I don't know. Maybe it's a dumb idea. Maybe I should be living life instead of reading about it. But literature is important to me. Maybe I can find a balance. I love the feeling I get when there are ideas whizzing around my mind from something I've read. I think what you read colours everything you see.

And I want to be a better writer. There's a wolf on a mountain at the core of my very being that is howling to write. If I don't read, I will lose my language skills. I will lose my grammar skills. I will lose my... what's the word... vocabulary.

For me, through hard times in my life, sometimes words have been my only friend. Writing has been my alternative to self destructive behaviour. Being able to express something means it has less power over me. Writing it down validates my feelings right before my eyes. I guess the more you can unpack something - the more you begin to understand it - the easier it becomes to overcome. I like that sense of clarity. I seem to chase it in every area of my life. I want to know. I want to get it. To get it and to live it.

It all comes down to Honesty and Truth, and how those two fit together in The Great Puzzle.

So I'm going to be a reader. First port of call, my own bookcase. Well, my own three bookcases to be exact. I'm going to keep a detailed journal of what I read. I'm going to monitor my progress through the library.

I'm going to take notice of each new colour I see.

Bookworm

Got rid of the Sudoku widget. It was starting to bug me. I don't even like Sudoku.

I wrote three essays at the library today. It was cold there, so I had a rug around me. The librarian took a photo!

Which eye do you wink with?

Clara and I discovered tonight through a random line of conversation that I naturally wink with my left eye. If I do it with my right eye it feels perculiar! I'd never noticed that before. I'm so excited about asking people which eye they wink with now! What a great conversation starter/ice breaker!

Hi, how you goin'? Which eye do you wink with? Really? No! I wink with my left eye too! I feel like a spack winking with the other eye. Well, actually I feel like a spack winking in general. I mean who winks these days anyway, except, like, sleazy old men? Or people with something stuck in their eye. But you don't really wink when there's something in your eye, you blink. It's not like you're gonna think, 'hang on, I better not close the other eye while I wince in pain'. So yeah, winking is like, so yesterday! Until you become a sleazy old man. Then it's ok. Not that either of us are planning on becoming sleazy old men any time soon. So, nice weather we're having...!

Works for me!

Dover Beach and the three toos

I just read a poem. The last stanza is so gorgeous, I have to share it. The poem is called Dover Beach and it's by Matthew Arnold. This is the last stanza.

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

To me, this is saying we cannot have a truly loving or peaceful relationship with this uncertain (albeit beautiful) world, so we must share and maintain our joy and light with one another on a personal level. Without that, we are lost.

As I was reading my Theatres and Audiences book this morning like a good little student, I thought of an interesting idea.

I took a cake to a cake competition. It came second, so I decided it was good enough to take to a cafe and sell. The following week I took two cakes to two different competitions. The first cake won the competition, so this time I took it to two cafes. The second one won so I took it to two too.

I wanted to get all three spellings of 'too' in a row, but I had to make up a little story to make it make sense. Decided to chuck the two 'one's in as well. I guess it's a little bit like that poem, 11 was a racehorse, 22 was 12, 1111 race, 22112.

Gotta love wordplay.

Back from the point of no return

Our BRECCY classes are still getting late enrollments. It's great to see that the idea is popular for kids in Bunbury. I hope we are delivering a class that makes the kids and parents happy. I'm finding it a constant challenge and a great way to refine my skills and learn new ones. As I said to my teacher the other day, it must be great to watch kids grow from 7 to 17 as performers and people. I hope I'll be teaching some of these kids for that long!

I had a really rough couple of weeks battling with myself, but I'm overcoming it now and trying to make better choices. I was resenting my schedule and trying to escape from my commitments by ignoring them and doing something else. Now I've found a new motivation inside myself and I actually 'want to' do it all.

I'm grateful for what I have.

So incredibly grateful.

CAYPAKS

I spent Monday and Tuesday in Perth volunteering at a conference called CAYPAKS (Children and Young People are Key Stakeholders). Click on the image to go to the website. It was an awesome experience! I met tonnes of interesting people who work with children and youth, and some very switched-on young people. It was a fantasitc positive forum.

The best thing for me was hearing Andrew Fuller speak yesterday afternoon. He was inspiring, entertaining and refreshing.

He said we should eliminate "busy" and "not bad" from our conversations when someone asks how we are.

He also said we are what we notice. (And lots of other things which I'm sure I'll mention later because I was so inspired.)

man and machine

haiku x2

my toes just brushed past
the mass of cables beneath
my computer desk

it felt good
touching all those cords
why is that?

Too busy to be me

Sometimes I wonder why the people who really knew me before I got so busy still like me. To myself, I seem to have lost so much of who I was before I took on the crazy lifestyle I now have. Moving to the city has changed me. If people can like me in my city form, imagine how much more they'd like me if I had time to be the me that I wish I had time to be. If I once again had time to read books and get inspired and write again (dream of dreams!) and make things and curl up on my beenbag and sleep in the afternoon and hold my guitar just to feel it hold me and play Cluedo again and be transfixed by the inside of a capsicum and give people presents when it's not their birthday and make muffins for everyone and talk on the phone or msn for 5 hours and stare into people's eyes for as long as I can and sit in silence in the moonlight without thinking of a thousand other things I could be doing.

I miss that girl and I don't want to lose her. I know she's there. I feel her smiling when I skip and jump in puddles and drink milkshakes and wear my hair in pigtails and breathe in the ocean and swing on my silent swing and giggle at nothing and get caught up in a painting or a poem and I forget my busy world for a few moments and instead of trying to be something, I just am... what I am.

The picture is a self portrait. I decided I wanted to give my blog a creative edge and really put something of my true self into it. I'm sick of posting the same boring details of my life... "I'm so busy... Lots to do... So much on..."... So I drew myself. Watch for this picture in future posts. It may alter depending on my frame of mind. At the moment I'm feeling worried and pensive. I hope that comes out in the image. Creating the picture was theraputic, because I knew it didn't have to please anyone but me, and it took my mind off...

...all the other things I should be doing.

Is it just me or is there an echo in here?

50TH POST!

Yayyyyy! Celebrationnnn! Happy 50th postaversary, Mr Blog!

Saw Canterbury Tales for the THIRD time last Friday :) with Therese and I still laughed. I had a huge week at camp but I'm still really glad I went to Busso after. Therese, her friend Sam, David and I watched the sun set over the beach. Therese's mum, Ursula, gave me a banana. David let me wear his hat and I had ice cream for the first time all week. I had two kinds of ice cream - a caramel sundae and some delicious company.

Camp was full on. I got to write and direct, which was exciting. It was great to hear the audience laughing at my script in the concert! But it was the kids who did most of the work. I was just their vehicle, they drove. I got to know some delightful kids and saw (and heard) lots of talent. We had our fair share of tough times on the camp, but we had a strong leadership team, so that made it easier. I didn't get much rest over the 5 days. If I wasn't looking after my dorm or doing activities, I was writing scripts and running orders or working on the slideshow with Steve. There was sometimes a little time for breathing and sleep!

This week I've been spending some time with friends and family and trying to do some prep for next term. So much on. I need to work harder.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to camp I go

Today I depart for Starz camp, so if you want me (or want to contact me) before Friday it'll have to be on my mobile. Come see the Starz concert at Grammar on Thursday night! Should be a load of fun. I know I'll be showing off! Hehe.

If you want to see the thing that gave me one of the best laugh sessions I've ever had, read this review/article/thingy that Danny Katz wrote about Othello. It's 2 pages, make sure you read both. Mum and Leigh will testify that I was literally crying and couldn't breathe as I was reading this... maybe I just needed a good laugh, and I spose it was mostly funny because I'd just seen the show 3 times, but I definitely did some work on my '6 pack' (as Clara would say)!

Also, while I remember, this is one of my favouite things on youtube in my recent discovery - the Pachelbel Rant. Particularly funny if you've ever played cello or been in an orchestra of any kind, but still a hoot if you haven't.

I actually want to learn cello. I'm thinking of saving up for one. (That could take a while, poor part timer and student that I am.) I picked one up when I was babysitting the other night and I liked the way it felt to hold it. Different to a guitar, sort of more formal, but still with that familiar shape. So one day, maybe in a few years' time, I hope to take it up.

I read The Importance of Being Ernest again the other day. I heard a rumour that auditions might be coming up for it sometime. I'm dying to play Cecily. I think I would've been like her, had I been born in her place and time.

"Oh! I don't think I would care to catch a sensible man. I shouldn't know what to talk to him about."

Catch you after camp, my dear blogreader/s.

CT & O

I've spent most of my time this week at the theatre. I've seen The Canterbury Tales twice and Othello 3 times (and I think I may go again) in the space of four days! They're so brilliant! I found myself mouthing some of the lines of Othello the third time through. Specifically, "This fellow's of exceeding honesty" (cough, splutter!) and "Look on the tragic loading of this bed" (appealed to me, and reminded me of R&J!). And there are so many great gags in The Canterbury Tales. I'll never forget the "half Volcan", "O well o weh, thou must be kidding me", "tubs", "wecipwocate", Stephen's burping! Lol!

I got David to play the 'mirror mirror on the wall' mirror in some film snippets I had to do for BUZ. It was excellent to have a professional to do it. I think it took under an hour and it turned out perfectly if you ask me. I hope Steve likes it. A bald head was exactly what we needed. I might even be the person talking to the mirror. Depends if we replace Talynt with a guy or a girl. If it's a girl then I want to keep on playing Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. I've got some great ideas on how to put a new spin on them. If it's a guy, he'll have to play Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. He he he he.

BRECCY's finished for the term. It was so successful. I'm looking forward to doing even more with these great kids. They've given me a whole new level of enthusiasm for teaching and for theatre in general. It's just occurred to me that I could be working with these kids well into their teens! How exciting it will be to watch them grow as performers and people. At the moment it's a mutual learning experience for both teacher and student parties, but perhaps when they (and I) are older I'll be a seasoned teacher with a wealth of experience and skills! If, by any chance, you are an out-of-town actor/director/drama teacher/student drama teacher looking for a seachange, get in touch with me! There are heaps of opportunities to teach and direct. Come and join me. If you've got a good business head on your shoulders that would be great, too. Ha ha.

Just dreaming.

Freinds and the festival

"A backwards poet writes inverse."

I had a gorgeous day on Saturday! I got to see Clara, my best friend and the most beautiful girl in the world. (And those are all one person!) Leigh came over which never fails to make it a good day. Cla and I caught up with Dave, then ran into Rhys and the three of us hung out and had a super time! There was a stunning rainbow. And as if that wasn't enough, we then ran into Sam and I met her friend Emma and saw Bus. Sam seems to get more and more beautiful and complex every time I look at her. I don't think I'll ever understand her, but I know I'll always want to. After that, Clara, Dave and I threw spinning leaves off the tower (an exciting activity from the forthcoming Hitchhiker's Guide to Bunbury by Dave and Kate!) and talked about wind camels and camel tunnels (the new name for wind tunnels). Then we ran into Dave B and Sofie. It was such an awesomely fun and beautiful day.

Today was the Perth Speech and Drama Festival. It was quite a nice day. Rhys came with me, which I really appreciated. I performed reasonably well. Not as well as I did at Gala the previous night! That felt brilliant. I felt like I had the audience right there with me. You could cut the tension. It was an excellent night of entertainment, especially the Sultans of Jazz! They were so spectacular.

I think we need a revival of words like splendid. We can't let them die! We need to keep as many 'good' words as we can in this cruel world as it becomes crueler. Splendid, super, swell, superb, sublime, stupendous (wow, there are a lot that start with 's'), ace, dandy, delightful, neat, tremendous , grand, glorious, etcetera!

Read me Bakowski

While we're in the business of posting pictures, I thought I might post one of the cover of one of my favourite books!

Peter Bakowski's "In the human night" is one of the best reads the poetic soul will ever experience. It's comparable to music, or friendship, or flying. So beautiful, so heart-tugging, so captivating.

When I say captivating, I mean Bukowski's words capture the reader and lock him/her away in the cage of language.

To me, this book is what written poetry is. A world of words. A world of images. A world of beauty, and a world of pain that's so eloquently described that it seems beautiful, too.

I notice myself breathing and blinking when I read a poem from this book.

Feet of fantasy

I 'made' these shoes a while back and I thought I'd make a little photo board of them. Check it out. Click to enlarge.

Stark Raven madness

Ohhhh, so much to tell you, my precious blog!

I've been asked to perform at Gala again! Yay! Hopefully Dulce Et Decorum Est. I was gonna do Young Entertainers but changed my mind at the last minute because I was stressed out and unprepared. That's what you get for writing it the night before it's supposed to be on. It'll be a good skit once I learn it properly. Maybe I'll get a chance to do it another time. It's about repetition. It's about repetition. Anyway, they rang me about Gala on Friday night. It's on next weekend. The night before the Festival. Great. Another busy weekend. Such is the actor's life.

On Tuesday, on the way into my BRECCY meeting, I ran into the lovely Lee McLachlan, who asked me if I'd be able to perform a monologue at Stark Raven's 10th birthday party on Saturday night. Of course, I said yes! I picked up the monologue on Wednesday and learnt it over the next few days, and pulled it off really well on Saturday night. I had such a great time! So many theatre people were there and everyone was talking theatre! It was so nice to catch up with everyone and even meet some new people. Andy came down for it, and we had a good chat. He was really encouraging about getting youth theatre going down here, and said to get in touch with him if I wanted to run ideas past him or needed help with getting it going in terms of funding etc. It's awesome to have his support.

On Friday night, the night before the party, I had a rehearsal with Lee, but I'd had a long day, wasn't quite ready, and had just pulled out of the Eisteddfod, so I wasn't feeling too well. I had a panic attack for the first time in ages. I felt this enormous (irrational) sensation of absolute dread, and ended up coming off after doing only the last line of my scene and collapsing in a fast-breathing huddle, fumbling through my bag for my rescue remedy. Thankfully, my understanding friend Dave was there to rescue me, and he took me for a walk and helped me clear my head, then he suggested ice cream, so we had a sundae and all was well.

Right now I'm just very busy. How I have time to write this, I don't know! Probably because I'm procrastinating!

I know meter. Trochaic, Dactylic, Iambic, Anapaestic!

And I know what a split infinitive is. It's time "to happily leave" this blog.

Calendar

Just posting the link to my new calendar.

http://freecal.brownbearsw.com/katescalendar

Not sure if it's gonna work for me yet, but we shall see.

Ready to crash

I think I've reached the breaking point. I haven't broken down yet, but I can feel it coming.

Eisteddfod is over (the hard part, anyway). I got 3 firsts, 2 seconds and 3 thirds out of 9 items. Two of the firsts were for speech and drama: my recitation and monologue. I scored 95 for both! I've never had a score that good before!

Recitation of Dulce Et Decorum Est (Wilfred Owen) went extremely well. Only made one mistake - said 'walk' instead of 'pace', but managed to let it go and finish the poem well! Go me :)

I thought my monologue (from Oliver Goldsmith's She Stoops To Conquer) was quite average, but the adjudicator liked it. I was against Tara (who is one of those performers who gets really nervous but then steps onto the stage and does wonderfully) and I thought her monologue was brilliant - delivered with such conviction and beauty - and, if I'd been judging, she would've beaten me!

My students did fantastically well! 2 firsts, 4 thirds and a highly commended (I think, but don't quote me on that until I get copies of their adjudication sheets!) The Dardy kids did wonderfully, too. Their play (from my script!) was just great! I think they got ninety-something for it :) Ahh, my babies! I was so impressed.

Let's not talk about my singing. LOL. Some of it was good-ish. Some of it was extremely average! Ooohh, let's just not even go there! But I do thank my gorgeous friends for the amazing and humbling support they showed by sitting through a lot of long adjudication pauses between acts just to see me and cheer me on. I really think that I have the most beautiful bunch of close friends I could ask for.

And of course, my family. Gran and Grandad came down, Meg doted on me (and my students), Jan supported me as always, Lee played piano for me!, Mum and Dad (my two favourite people on the planet) were there.

And my sister Sam (my biggest fan) made it to see contemporary night which meant the world to me and more.

Finally, thanks to Bec, my lovely accompaniest, for all her hard work and for managing to still be lovely even though she's sooo busy she probably doesn't have time to look sideways at a fencepost.

Saw The Vasco Era at the Prince after the Eisteddfod. They were awesome! I still can't hear properly! I actually 'danced' (or whatever you call it in a pub) and it wore me out! The drummer was one of the most talented creatures I have ever, ever seen/heard. He must have the strongest arm muscles in the world to be able to play that fast for that long. How does he even breathe when he's doing that?!

So I'm ready to crash. But I know there are Arms to catch me.

A fellow INFP

In case you weren't tuned in back when I wrote this post, I have a thing for the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) and its 16 personality types. Until recently, other than Jon Doust, I'd never met anyone else who knew much about it.

I randomly ran into Dave in Henry's the other day and we ended up talking for many hours. Somehow we got onto the MBTI types and we analysed and analysed and analysed... it was fantastic! The amazing thing is that we're the same type; he's an INFP, too. So it makes sense that we have a lot in common and a lot to talk about. We both write. We both love grammar and hate bad grammar. We talked about freinds vs strangers as confidantes, and how some things IFs do may seem like T things in terms of organising our thoughts, but it's actually just the way we slot things into our worldview and values systems; it's not logical organisation like a Thinker, it's a necessary sort of categorisation that we INFPs use to understand our world from our inward viewpoint.

It was so cool to have someone to talk to in-depth about the types, especially someone of the same type as me! I don't think I know many INFPs (although I'm not entirely sure). Thanks for the convo, Dave. Twas fabtaztik.

The great gutter

Ma buddy Keaton (pictured) and I made an ice-cream gutter (pictured) at the J&H after party to celebrate the fact that I could have milk products again after a month off (to keep my voice clear for the show). It was complete with wafers, marshmallows, banana, chocolate sauce and nuts. It was so exciting (and tasty)!

I absolutely recommend this as a party food to share with friends or strangers. Everyone loves a sundae (especially if it's a metre or so long)!

Cheers to Karen, Talynt and Nathan for hosting the party. It was swell!

And thanks to Keatz for his contribution to the glorious gutter of gluttony that we greedily guzzled as we gabbled! It would've been no fun without a friend to share the gutter-preparing (and eating) experience. Isn't it great when friends spur you on to do things you really want to do? I was motivated enough to get up early on a Saturday morning and go pipe shopping! Oh, and thanks to the great guy at Total Eden who sawed the pipe in half, and to my brother, who worked out how to get it to stand up and not roll over! Ain't collaboration grand!

Tim Minchin

If you haven't seen and heard this song, check it out. It's deep and catchy. Two things I like in a song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da9VxaT8Gok

Uninhibited observation

I've recently embarked upon a new journey into the world of words that I like to call 'uninhibited observation'. In a way, all I'm doing is giving a name to the sort of writing I used to do automatically, but since I've hit the dreaded writer's block many times over the last two years, I'm now doing this sort of writing on purpose.

The idea is to pick a subject (or not, but it usually helps) and write on it without wondering if it's any good or if it sounds poetic, just writing, 'uninhibited' by my own judgement and criticism, and hoping that somewhere down the line of words that spew forth, there will be a small piece of slightly-above-average writing that may be salvaged and reused and made into something a little more crafted. I call it 'observation' because for the first one I did I was actually looking at the subject as I wrote. but 'observation' can also mean my thoughts on something that isn't necessarily in front of me at the time of writing.

This is the the first one (exactly as it appears in my notebook), from whence the idea hath sprung:

#

He
deep in thought
Plays his guitar
In the park
Like no one's watching

I, deep in my notebook
keep my distance

He's singing
but I can't make out
the words from here.

He plays with a
reckless abandon
That's somehow calculated

His hands move fast
He fills his space
with sound
and makes it
meaningful.

Competes with traffic
and the wind blowing
the flagpole.
Are they his competition or his
percussion?
His foot taps, his head
nods,
his hands thrust the
neck of the guitar to
the beat.
Rhythm perfect.
He looks around as
he plays
Unphased by the
environment, passers by
city surroundings,
school kids
He's young, maybe
sixteen, but it's
hard to tell from
this distance.
I wonder if his arm
is tired. I wonder
if he sees me here,
across the park,
his solitary audience?
Is he playing his
own material?
I wonder why he is
playing here
I find myself tapping
my foot.
He wears jeans and
a beige shirt
with his brown hair
His appearance
spells musician.
His voice is a
proclamation of the
musical statement
he makes with his
presence in this
park.

#

Wow, it's long! Whaddaya think? It's nothing specky, but there are bits in there that could become something.

I'm very grateful to that young man for inspiring me enough to write a decent spiel and hence get this new idea going. I've written many uninhibited observations since then, and it's only been a few days! (Shock, horror; I've actually written more than once this week!) On the train today I was writing one about honesty and how people need to tell their true stories to feel their lives are validated. My favourite line from it was:

"No strings are attached to the minds and memories of strangers."

It has a ring to it, IMO.

Should really go to bed, seeing how it's 2am and all. I can't help it, I'm a night owl!

"To the intolerably happy couple..."

This is a picture of Liam and I (Henry and Emma). Aren't we cute?!

Big news! It would appear that it's already tomorrow, so I suppose I will have to refer to 'today' as yesterday although I have not slept into tomorrow yet.

Anyway, big news! 'Yesterday' (the 25th, just to clarify) it was my half birthday, and guess what I got? An A for my exam. Honours. And a lovely report from my examiner! What a lovely woman. Perhaps I will publish some of her comments later.

BRECCY classes are going very well. I'm starting to get to know the kids and how their minds work. Geoff is enjoying it, too.

I have a cold (which surfaced right after my exam! Yes!) . It's a bit miserable, but it hasn't stopped me having a full-on week! I've been such a social thing this week! I went to two movies within the space of twenty-four hours (Spiderman 3 and Pirates 3).

I turned up to Spiderman on my own, but ended up sitting with Brigid and her friend Brenda, and Rhys and Rachelle. It was like a mini J&H reunion at the cinema. Catching up with Rhys, Rachelle and Ash tomorrow night.

Ben and I went to Pirates on Thursday. It wasn't as good as the first two. I thought the second one was just gold. Third one didn't do as much for me. It was more Elizabeth focused than Jack focused, and there was too much action and not enough comedy towards the end. It did have an entertaining sort of storyline, though, and I didn't get bored at any point. Quite liked Spiderman, but I knew I would. There's something about comic books on big screen that works for me as an escape. It's like Degrassi. Sort of corny, but really sweet and watchable.

After the movie, Ben and I had a cuppa, then ran into Dave, who told us about a new song he's written called The Traffic Light Effect. After that I ushered for Ross Noble at BREC. I thought he was very average. He's had me in fits on TV and on the radio, but the live show didn't do much for me. I saw Sofie there (coz she was working) and she told me Marty was at Fitzie's, so I headed down there after the show and caught up with him. Dave played a solo set, so I got to hear his traffic light song. It was cool - full of assonance on the "I" sound. His poetry is jaw-droppingly awesome. He wants to read some of my stuff. I wonder if I'll have the courage to share anything.

Speaking of poetry etc, stay tuned for my next post about my newest form of writing, which has actually got me writing again!

End of season

Here we are: the whole motley crew (and cast!), except Keaton, who was absent from the photo shoot! :(

Closing night was brilliant! The afteparty was heaps of fun. I'll post a photo of the ice cream gutter Keaton and I made when I get it processed!

Already people are asking, "what's next, Kate?" It's not something I even think about. I don't plan to do shows, they just seem to happen to me!

I suppose one could say that the Eisteddfod is next. At least I wont be too nervous this year. I'm so comfortable with performing now that nerves don't phase me any more. I just hope I get enough practice with my students so they feel confident.

And if we're going to really go into detail on "what's next", there's Starz camp and Star Power, BUZ, BRECCY and Dardanup as always, Elenora next week, the Perth speech and drama festival in July, plans for Rhys' and my new improv group, possibly a backstage role in Dimboola, Shore Lines committee meetings, and that's just the career side of things! Somehow a social life and family fits into all that, along with staying healthy (hopefully joining a netball team soon!), continuing to read widely and write lots, seeing a bit of theatre and live music here and there and oh, sleeping, if I have time!

My exam went reasonably well today. Maybe not a High Distinction this time because the impromptu reading was a bit dodgy, but let's not be pessimistic. Now I can just relax and wait for the result. My examiner was a very warm and intelligent woman. We had some good discussions on the texts I presented.

I should probably write some more about the show. Perhaps I will do so later.

I know it seems trivial, but I have to mention my delight at a new feature that's popped up on my blog editing page! It has 'autosave'! So I don't have to panic about losing my post if my computer freezes (as it often does)!

Oh, and check out my Sudoku widget. What a novelty! (In other words, timewaster!)

I also need to remember to post about the guitarist I saw today.

Quote of the day:

"You don't want to be so open minded that your brain falls out."

So there.

How I feel about writing:

...I go,
in pilgrimage;
to wash my heart
in the clouded well
of language.

-From "Self portrait in Richmond studio, 25 October 1994" by Peter Bakowski (My second favourite poet.)

What's for BRECCY? 2

Lesson two was marvellous! I love these kids! They responed very well to the activities and they're already making new friends and starting to get to know each other. They all have definite strengths. It's going to be fantastic working to refine these little performers.

Here's to the night...

I had the most special, beautiful night! Around seventeen people came to see ME tonight, which by my calculations, is around fifteen percent of the one-hundred-and-ten-ish audience!

They cheered for me, and Sam yelled out my name during the bows! It felt wonderful. And as if that wasn't enough, they all gave me huge hugs and huge compliments afterwards! I even got a special note instead of a boquet, which I will treasure forever! It's better than flowers because it won't wilt.

Ursula, Therese, Anneliese, Sam, Andrew, Leigh and I went to Henry's afterwards, which was just so lovely. I felt, and will always feel, so humbled to have friends who are so supportive, so beautiful and so close.

I have a very busy week ahead, but that's not unusual! Matinee tomorrow. It feels different perfoming in the daytime. Elle's coming tomorrow. I'm thrilled that she and Therese would come all the way from Margaret River to see me!

I'll definitely miss this one when it's over. We're bonding more and more with each show, as is to be expected. I'll have to get them all something amazing on Saturday night.

Until next time...

Collaboration!

Preview night is over! It went very well and we had a great response!

I drove Rhys home after the show and we talked about our forthcoming ventures into the world of improvisation/theatresports. I'm really glad I mentioned the idea to him because he's become very passionate about it and I really believe that together we can get the local improv ball rolling. The best part is that our partnership is based on respect and admiration for each other's different abilities and a shared vision for enriching life through teaching and sharing drama. We set some ground rules for our collaboration, swapped numbers, shook hands and smiled. He's so dedicated. I trust him fully that he won't make a halfassed effort at this. It's great to have someone to talk to around my own age who's as passionate for this craft as I am. His image might be that of a larakin but he's actually a very serious man. That's what makes him such a good actor: his persona has variety and layers. And he wants to learn. I'm very much looking forward to working with him as we basically take a leap in the dark and embark on this exciting adventure. I'll keep you 'posted' on our progress.

I'm spending all day tomorrow on my program, until I hit the stage again for opening night!

THIRTY - The Cinematic Orchestra

Yay, I hit the big 30! This is my 30th post!

Whoever you are, you HAVE TO download this song! To Build A Home by the Cinematic Orchestra feat. Patrick Watson. (It's the radio edit, so it's nowhere near as good as the full version but it rocks my socks!!!!!) Ooooh I love it to shreds!!! Patrick Watson's voice... I just adore it to the core. If I could sit on a cloud and be serenaded all day, he'd be one of my headline entertainers. Him and Paul Dempsey... yeah. **Kate floats away**... seriously, though, check out the song and if you ever get the chance to hear the non-radio edit, it's an experience.

Thanks to Zan on the "j"s this morning for the intro to TCO. And thanks to Step class for getting me up early for a good workout!

What's for BRECCY?

BRECCY Theatre is underway. I'm proud to be part of BREC's youth vision and I hope my relationship with them can grow into the future. Geoff and I have a class of 23 with a waiting list of 10+ at this stage. I've had people ask me if there's anything for 11-12 year olds, so there's an opening there as well. When I get my diploma I'll branch off into my 'private practise', but for now BRECCY will be my forum for refining my teaching skills. I hope we can build a strong group of young performers. The kids we met today were very confident, energetic and creative. Areas to work on are positivity, accepting offers and listening without comment. I'm looking forward to the challenge of helping these kids to grow and learn new skills.

Jekyll & HYDE (blood splatter/ink stain)

Check this out! Since we're not getting cast t-shirts for this show, I got resourceful! Cheap Target singlet plus red puff paint plus tracing paper plus pen plus show logo equals Kate's Jekyll and Hyde shirt (pictured)! It's quite exciting having something unique, and it only took half an hour to paint, one sleep to dry and a minute under the hairdryer to puff. I wonder how long it will last.

My lessons went well yesterday. I had a squiz at Karen's game cards to see if I could get any hints for BRECCY. (But I'm not giving anything away!)

The show opens in two weeks from yesterday! The preview is on Thursday the 10th and opening night is Friday 11th. That will be a big week for Kate!

My Notebook

Sorry to keep harping on about Google Notebook, but I thought I might open some of my notebooks up to the world.

http://www.google.com/notebook/user/04354639680491391761

If this link is broken, I will try to fix it!

There's not much in the notebooks yet so don't expect to be too razzle-dazzled.

Oh guess what, I read Doubting Thomas by good ol' Morris Gleitzman the other day. It was a great story and a fun read. The whole time I was thinking, "I could so adapt this for stage." Wondering if I should set it as a project for myself. Hmm.

P.S. Feeling alive again is superdooperexcellenterifficomondo! I sang, "Welcome to term two," accompanied by an interpretive dance move to every student who came into my class with Karen today. It felt weird and wonderful to have my confident energy back.

Alive again

I've been cruising along feeling very switched off for what seems like a fair while, and I realised last night how monotonous it was getting, so I spent some time with my sister, Sam, today and I let her draw some emotions out of me, and now I'm feeling alive again. I think I've got my 'spark' back. I hope so anyway. I know something's changed because I care again. There's a real smile in my eyes and a glistening tear in my heart, just as there should be.

I'm alive again.

Google Notebook

This Google Notebook thing really is quite cool. It's kinda like adding things to your favourites, except you can choose which bits you want AND you can access it from other computers. Plus it's easy to use and it doesn't bug you with ads or anything, which is nice.

I had to put the Google iceberg up because I think it's pretty. (And this may be the only post it will ever be relevant in, so I thought I'd seize my window.)

Term 2 is about to begin! I was feeling very daunted a little while ago, but I think I'm looking forward to it now. I have such amazing support from my family and friends for me as a person, and to me that's much more important than having support as an artist (which is slowly growing, but I've got a long way to go yet). I'm not saying that my family and friends don't support me as an artist, I'm just saying that if all my creative persuits fell through, they'd still be there for me just as strong. Much as I've been calling myself a 'career woman' lately, if I lost everything my career isn't what I'd be truly missing.

l33t

I've just uploaded my Acting CV. If this link is broken, it means my file sharing membership has expired. I'm in the process of downloading Google Notebook, which is either really exciting or really sad, depending on whether I'm a geek or not, but I'm feeling a definite sway towards geekness on this occasion.

Vernix caseosa

When I got home from tonight's rehearsal, I chatted to mum in the kitchen for a while before sitting down at the dining room table. (Although our kitchen and 'dining room' aren't actually seperate rooms.) On the table I found our huge Webster's dictionary, opened to 'exc-'. I asked mum why. She said she had looked up the word 'excel', wondering if it was actually spelt differently to the name of the software!

Anyway, I asked her for a word to look up, so she said 'divination', then 'verification'. The 'ver-' pages were fascinating! There were so many long, complicated 'verm-' and 'vern-' words!

My favourite was vernix casesosa (OK, so it's two words, although it is sometimes just called 'vernix'). The definition was something along the lines of 'the unctuous substance covering the skin of a fetus'. (I then had to look up unctuous, another very cool word. It means oily or greasy.) So vernix caseosa is the white stuff brand new babies have all over them. It's basically made out of their skin oil (called 'sebum') and extra cells that have come off the skin of the fetus, and it comes from the baby's 'sebaceous glands'. It is said to have hydrating and antibacterial qualities. Humans are the only land mammal whose babies have a coveing of vernix caseosa.

Something else I found really amusing was that vernix means 'varnish' (which is funny in itself because it's weird to think of babies being born with a coat of varnish!) and caseosa means 'cheese' (because the substance has a cheesy sort of texture). So this technical medical term 'vernix caseosa' actually means 'varnish cheese', which really sounds quite ridiculous, wouldn't you agree?

Dictionaries are wonderful, inspiring things!

BRECCY

Exciting news, everybody!

The Bunbury Regional Entertainment Centre Children's and Youth (BRECCY) theatre is starting up a brand new theatre workshop program for 7-10 year olds, and guess who's in charge? That's right, yours truly! Geoff Robinson and I are the creative facilitators, and we're gearing up to put together an energy-packed, intensely cool, fun-filled, super friendly, especially edutcational term's worth of great theatre games and skill building activities for a class of 20 enthusiastic children! The classes will be running from the start of term 2 on Wednesdays from 4:30-5:30pm. For more information, contact Graham Harvey, or call the Box Office on 97911133.

Don't even ask me what my calendar looks like next term. I don't think I've ever been so busy!